On Wednesday it will be two months since we went into Lockdown.  Yes, next week many of the restrictions are lifting but the responsibility for our own safety is largely shifting to us.  I am over 65, fortunately without any of the chronic illnesses that are presenting as exacerbating factors, but I still feel fear around an enemy that is invisible, intangible and closing in on us.  In the interests of spreading the value of coaching,  a group of coaches on an online platform called Valueneurs,  are currently presenting  Free weekly workshops helping people build their resilience, starting with Self Awareness.

The initiative is called “Helping You 2 Help Yourself”,  and each week one of us presents a useful tool to assist with building resilience in the face of this pandemic. I would like to show you the tool we discussed last week as I think it is very relevant to understanding just how you are adjusting.  It is called the Change Curve:

Some of you will be familiar with Elizabeth Kuebler Ross’s work on Grief and will recognize the adaptation here for dealing with change.  All of us, whether we like it or not, are experiencing some level of change in our lives and serious upheaval in our usual routine.

But if we think back to March, how many of us thought this would go away or it would only last a couple of weeks?   For me, when it was announced that the first 3 weeks were being extended indefinitely, that is when the realisation hit home that this was not just a sojourn at home getting on top of chores, it was all about a new way of life.   I went straight down in a motivational slump to “Letting go”,  and the anger only came later when I fully realised what this was going to do to my long term plans.

With all the time I have had for thinking, I have spent more energy on searching for meaning than anything else.  I have truly found this a quiet time for spiritual exploration and personal development, and I get glimpses of understanding and acceptance, but whew, I am not there yet.

It is important to understand that this is not a linear curve, we do not systematically progress from one step to the next, but may take one step forward and two back, or in some cases jump from one step to another.  For example, you may feel you are starting to make sense of what is happening and then the President makes another announcement and you plummet straight back to anger and resistance.  “How dare they impose this to stifle my plans?”  Does that sound familiar?

I was reassured to find that I was not the only one cycling between anger and resentment, feeling listless, depressed and completely demotivated with glimpses of understanding the meaning of it all.  Where are you on the curve?

The important take-home from all of this is what needs to happen for you to restore the balance and proceed to internalization in a world that is GOING TO BE DIFFERENT going forward?  Simply understanding where you are on the curve is not enough – you need to work out for yourself what you are able to do to move to acceptance.  If you would like some help with this, feel free to contact me on hilary@nuhorizons.co.za to discuss a way forward, or watch my Facebook and LinkedIn pages for posts announcing the topics of the Monday workshops.  (Sorry, by the time you receive this, you will have missed today’s workshop on “Restoring the Balance”)

Keep well,